The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

This is what I get when I work with my friend zack

SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF~

The King Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from intestinal strain.



Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.



Cement Block = You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you poop.



Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. How do I get rid of it? This poop usually happens at someone else's house.



The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your cheeks before it falls into the water.



The Crippler = The kind of poop where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.



The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.



The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise…



NOW EVERYONE TRY TO GO POOP IN PEACE



QUIT LAUGHING... POOPING IS A NATURAL PROCESS

Then you have my friend wanda

Never Argue with a Woman



One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.



Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know yo u could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.



MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. Send this to four women who are thinkers. If you receive this, you know you're intelligent.



And all I can say is omg if they read my emails at work I am doomed

They will fire my ass with these types of emails so I have to say eekkkkkkkkkkkkkk

COMMENTS

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Lordpeace
17:27 Jan 31 2009

wonderful

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a friend of mine had spoken to me at length about her son for her son has been haunting my dreams without me even knowing it. She told me I am the girl bella from twilight and he sees you as a thing he cannot have.

I blinked and said in my mind the book series is okay the movie every one likesssssssssssss it is really overrated and well I was abit standoffish for her saying this. But she caught wind of her son watching me in my dreams and well she can tell he has been at my house when I am home spiritual. Yes I have heard of walking thru dreams and even talking in dreams but bella??? So thin chickie bo with ehhh potiental great she called me Bella thru this whole talk.

But then he said she is a witch and she sort of knew but never really knew that was when she caught my attention. So then she went on and I came to the conclusion without knowing her son somehow we are connected because of our friendship.

So she backed away from her son and said are you going to introduce yourself to her? He said when the timing is right. Her family lines have dream walkers and introducers and more in they can read minds too and she was unaware that her son had that ability until recently. SOOOOOOOOO I was told if I ever mee him that should not touch his jewelry for it is blessed in which I was like okay lets see what happens in the spirit realm. The boy has an attitude with touching his cross and he is in my dreams walking always thru. I think not so I got a head ache and there you have it he is a fighter too in his dreams. lol Sooo yeah wont touch it for real if I ever meet him but the question still lays in front her why? DOes he like to come and visit me when we have never met...

hmmm reality would saayyyyy dont touch his stuff for real then for no joke his eyes went black( he has blue eyes) so he has a dark side too. the joys of odd dreams and thensome

welcome to my world.

COMMENTS

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Lordpeace
17:28 Jan 31 2009

without doubt there is magic in dreams

i well know

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